The Meaning of Indemnity

typewriterIn searching for just the right title- one that conveyed the essence of the story AND sounded legal-ish – I landed on Indemnity. An indemnity is either a payment for some wrong committed to remove the penalty OR it's a security against some damage or loss. Insurance, in way.

Before this book, I'd only ever heard the word "indemnity" in an insurance or legal context. You may be familiar with the Billy Wilder film from the 1940s, Double Indemnity about an insurance fraud scheme. This fall, reading Beowulf for school, I found that the king paid the warrior an indemnity when one of Beowulf's men was killed. The king felt responsible, so he paid.


Payment for a wrong committed… Insurance, or protection, against future damages. That's Jack.

Jack is the indemnity.


Do you think the title fits? 

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  1. Hi, I've just finished your first book "Contingency" and I cried,  felt so sorry for Bobbi, why is it that she has to suffer. I don't understand how you can like the character of Tracey? She knew what she was doing, she was after a child, and she seduced a married man to get what she wanted, irrespective of who she hurt. I am so tired of reading books where the OW gets away without any hurt of her own. I feel the only one who truley suffered s Bobbi, Chuck was a selfish SOB, he knew what he was doing, he knew that it would hurt Bobbi he just didn;t care. I didn't like the fact that you had Chuck saying that sex with Tracey was the best he had ever had. How does that make Bobbi feel. She's been married to him for 18 yrs she goes through all sorts of trauma and forgives him and then Chuck says sex with Tracey was the best. I know he didn't say that to her face, or did he? She has to live with the humiliation that everyone knows that he hurt her and her family and risked it all for the best sex he had with Tracey. Also why did he look for her via Law society, what was that? That's just another slap in the face for Bobbi, when is Bobbi, going to ever feel like she is the one that matters most to Chuck. the next book, now Bobbi has to deal with the child of the adultery, when does her suffering stop?  I remember Bobbi asking Chuck to go to the doctors to get tests done, and he came back and defended Tracey by saying that she wasn't cheap, he totally fell for Tracey. If Tracey didn't let Bobbi know what was going on he wouldn't have stoped the affair. If he had stopped if because he truley searched himself and realised what he was doing to Bobbi and how he hurt and how he loved her, then yes I could believe Chuck was sorry. But all through he has defended Tracey and said she was the best and also said that he wouldn't have stopped the affair, so how can you believe him. That just makes Bobbi second best, again. Doesn't she deserve to have a love where she is the best???????? Now Bobbi is going to have to live with a constant reminder that she's second best? I really don't know how you can like the Adultress W****? I'd dearly love an author just once have a character pay for all the hurt they create. An eye for an eye…. How many times does Bobbi have to turn the other cheek, she only has two???  I would dearly love for you to respond, and let me know your thoughts, I'm looking for Indemnity to come out on ebook. I'm just really angsty at the moment.

    • Laurel,
      Thanks for commenting. I appreciate your frankness. Let me address a few points- Men who are cheating almost always think that encounter is the “best ever” because their hearts and minds are in the wrong place. Sin is always enticing and pleasurable that way. Chuck thought he loved Bobbi all those years, but it was only after counseling with Phil that he learned how selfish his brand of love had been. I didn’t want this to be a marriage counseling handbook so we don’t get to see all that they went through and hashed out in Phil’s office. We also don’t see what Chuck and Phil went through in those first few weeks of counseling.
      Bobbi brought her own baggage to the marriage, too. After her dad kind of ignored her… I’m not sure she realized that Chuck ignoring her for so many years was abnormal. They had a whirlwind engagement, spent three years apart, got married and lived their own lives. They never really connected the way they needed to. Phil and Dr. Craig help her work through her issues, but almost all of that is “off camera” Chuck has changed by the end of the book- watch how he treats Bobbi. He is willing to do exactly as she asked, settle the lawsuit and to leave his law firm to give her the reassurances she needed. He’s not perfect yet, but he’s come a long way from the jerk who missed the reservation for his wife’s birthday to buy a car to impress another woman. If Tracy hadn’t come along, I wonder if Chuck and Bobbi’s marriage would have survived much longer anyway. Once the boys left home, I wonder if they would have realized they really had nothing.
      Now, I don’t like Tracy as a person. She is totally immoral, with a complete disregard for anyone else, like you said. But as a character to write about… I like her. She’s a good villain.
      Forgiveness and grace are difficult things to live out, but that is the standard God set. In the third book, Shannon as a teenager tells Chuck to his face that a recent turn of events is a result of a curse that he brought on the family when he committed adultery. That’s a tough question to wrestle with. Sin has consequences. It hurts innocent people. That’s why God hates it so much.

      Thanks again for your comments!

  2. Hi, I'd also like it if you could clarify when Chuck said to Bobbi that he didn't love her before, but he loves her now, so she's been married to a man that didn't really love her for 18yrs, that's supposed to make her feel better, and he's still thinking that Tracey's the best sex he's had. As an author you really must hate Bobbi, you seem to dump so much on her character? I still can't believe you like Tracey's character, the adulteress wh***, who hurt Bobbi so much. I really just can't believe that. No matter what her past was like she went out of her way to hurt Bobbi. Bobbi suffered so much hurt and humiliation because of her, so much self doubt, she still has to live with being second best with Chuck. As a reader it kind of grates that everyone has to have a HEA, Tracey really doesn't deserve one. I know this is a Christian book, but come on. Sometimes I think that Authors are condoning this behaviour by accepting it and giving the OW a HEA. If this happened to you and you suffered as much as Bobbi, would you forgive and give the OW a HEA?  We have fables in the bible to show that you should do the right thing and what happens if you don't.  It feels like your condoning being an adulteress because you too can get a HEA, do what you want hurt who you want, get what you want, and then get a HEA?????????? Sorrry for the rant but I am still so angsty over the first book.

    • Laurel,
      Feel free to rant. :-) Stick with me through Indemnity. I don’t think Tracy gets a happily ever after. But when you say we have fables in the Bible, I think that’s going to be the difference in how we view things. Without the love and grace of God, I don’t know that there are any other responses besides anger and revenge. However, God shows us grace and mercy in spite of our offenses against Him, and He expects us to show the same to those who wrong us. I’ve never dealt with the betrayal of a spouse, but I have wrestled with forgiving an abuser, so I don’t take it lightly. Many folks, many Christians struggle to understand grace, which is receiving good things you don’t deserve. Chuck says in a conversation with Brad that his affair should have cost him everything, his health, his job, his family but it didn’t because of grace, grace from God and grace from Bobbi. It’s a bigger subject than I can address in a comment but I’d be glad to discuss more if you’d want to email.

      I really appreciate your heart. Thank you again for your comments.

  3. Thanks for your response Paula, I just don't like the way that Chuck believes still that Tracey was the best sex he ever had, I also don't see why Bobbi has to live with being second best.  I believe that when you love someone the sex should be the ultimate, so why even when Chuck turns his life around with Bobbi does he still think Tracey was better? I can't accept that, it gives no hope for a believable reconciliation for a reader. Do you know when "Indemnity" comes out on ebook.  I want to read it but am worried about any further interaction between Chuck and Tracey? Because of what he thinks about Tracey I'm worried that he'll go after Tracey again and hurt Bobbi all over again, not that she's not in constant pain as it is. I am part of a group who have a Cheating list "Don't Shoot Me Thread" on Amazon , we have quite a list of Cheating books. One constant that we find is that  if the H/h stay together wether we can believe in a HEA, and two whether the H(Hero) trully grovells enough and we believe that he knows what he has done and would never ever go there again – that goes to the HEA(Happy Ever After) (H/Hero, h/heroine). To me it is still iffy about Chuck because he still has these feelings about the sex, if he felt differently then I would say that yeah maybe a possibility.  There are really only a few books (cheating) that have a believable HEA. I think as readers we expect more from an author, like the best sex thing, it sticks with you, and you think, how can he say that and believe it, when having sex with the woman he loves and it not be the best sex, it just doesn't make sense to me.  It's a point that I can't get over. Your response would be so much appreciated.

    • Well- without going into details… would you believe me if I said the intimacy between Chuck and Bobbi gets where it should be after they reconcile? :-) I think he DOES find out that sex is the best ever when you are in a safe secure relationship based on total honesty. By the time we see them at the beginning of Indemnity there are no secrets left between them. Their marriage is solid and he loves her the way he should.
      And without spilling too many beans… don’t worry about Chuck and Tracy. He is definitely a one-woman man now. Now he does treat her with dignity and respect and you can argue that’s more than she deserves. I’m okay disagreeing there.
      They will have some conflict- the pain was very deep and the scars are very real, but he will nevercheat on her again.
      Oh I forgot to address a point you made earlier about checking to see if Tracy was in Kansas City… He would not have opened his second office if she had been there for risk of running into her, facing her in court etc.

  4. I forgot to ask is this where you wanted me to post? Or do you want my email address? Can I ask you about the Indemnity name?  Are you saying that Jackson is Indemnity – I don't understand why? He's a payment made by Chuck to Tracey for what? Tracey set everything up so in reality she deserves no payment. If anyone deserves payment it's Bobbi from Chuck and Tracey, for what they did to her. Tracey was the worst and Chuck was a close second.  I can't believe the A W enrolled her son in Bobbi's class. This woman doesn't do anything by accident, she scoped out Chuck before seducing him. I think I'm going to need tissues for this book, please, please don't tell me there is more of the affair between Chuck and Tracey, I really don't know whether I could cope with that. Poor Bobbi, my heart just breaks for her. I totally believe in forgiveness, I really do, but grovelling doesn't just do it, it's not still having feelings about the other person, It's thinking that sex with the one they love is the best and not an adulteress affair – I still can't get over that. I can't believe anything Chuck says even after everything he's changed in his life if he still feels that about Tracey. And if I can't believe that Chuck has changed, and thinks Bobbi is the best then  it doesn't matter what comes after I will never believe in a HEA.

    • Hey Laurel- If we wanted to discuss the theology etc behind the books I was gonna do that through, but I’m glad to discuss the book on here all day long :-)

      Jack is the Indemnity, but not in the way you think. As you learn more about Tracy and why she wanted a baby in the first place, it will make more sense, and if not, let me know and I’ll explain it.

      You are right- Tracy doesn’t do anything by accident. She absolutely did investigate Chuck before she made her move. I think she even got on at the law firm to get to him. But that’s just my speculation.

      I think your suspicions of Chuck are valid. Bobbi wrestled with them herself before reconciling with him.

      I love your comments. Thank you for taking the time to post.

      • Oh I forgot- the Kindle will be out in a couple of weeks. I don’t have a firm date but sometime around May 1

  5. Paula, thank you so much for answering my questions, and helping me understand, this is my take from your answers, please let me know if I'm right.  Bobbi and Chucks relationship, was in danger of self distructing anyway because of the problems that they both had but never talked or worked through them. Mainly SOB Chuck, not that Bobbi didn't have any. But Bobbi was going through a mid life crisis, where he wanted someone to stroke his ego, he also wanted a Strong Intelligent Woman beside him, he knew that Bobbi was very intelligent but thought she was throwing her life away in a dead end job where she could have been anything, he wanted to be proud of her, to show here off, where as Tracey he could do that she was a lawyer. She was young and pretty. She seemed to fit everything he wanted in a wife. He had Bobbi at home looking after the boys and the home front and thought he could have Tracey totally seperate from that, and because Bobbi and he had a seperate life, he didn't think that they would come together??? Because he took Bobbi for granted and was more interested in a new life with Tracey, everything was exciting and new – including the sex. When it all came tumbling down he had to come to terms with what sort of person he was, not only how people saw him, he was faced with that, and how he disappointed everyone, but also how he saw himself. He really didn't like himself, he never thought that he would be the type of person to have an affair or hurt Bobbi or his family. That's where all the intensive therapy with Phil takes place. (My vote, I really hated to see Phil pass away, I thought he was such a strong person of faith, and if not for him Chuck would not be the person he is today. I know bad things happen to good people, but Phil?) Anyway, as Chuck starts to like the person he is hopfully aware what a difference not just doing the right thing for the sake that it's the right thing, but feeling  good  because you are doing the right thing – I think it's a more profound emotion within yourself, I think it makes everything in life richer/more intense. So your saying that with the new Chuck and with these feelings he now has about Bobbi, that everything they share has no comparison, because for the first time they truley love each other with no selfishness just pure love, so whatever occured before, wether it be Bobbi or Tracey, wether it be sex or feelings, nothing can touch this new love because it's true and pure???? Did I get that right?
    Are you saying that Chuck treats Tracey with respect and dignity? No, not after all the manipulation and damage she caused. Didn't they pay her a heck of alot of money to make her lawsuit go away, and now they are going to go for custody, isn't that an about face? I hate that Bobbi has to face her. I hate that Bobbi has to live with Jackson a live contant proof of Chucks betrayal. I can't wait for it to come out on ebook. I'm glad that there isn't any relationship between Chuck and Tracey. I hate that Tracey is manipulating things to hurt Bobbi, re Jackson's enrolment in her class, bringing him back to town, everything. Do you think I have mentioned that I really do not like Tracey???? I think it's time that Grace is taken away from Tracey and given to Bobbi who truley deserves it.

    • Laurel, I think you got it.
      And I agree, Chuck is a jerk for most of the book. The worst kind. He never valued Bobbi as a person, never saw her as his equal, so her companionship, her care of him never registered with him. And you are right, Phil made all the difference in the world in Chuck. (And I still hear it from lots of people over him ;-) )

      Ok now in Indemnity- When he has contact with her, he does treat with the dignity and respect any human being deserves, but not anything out of line. Tracy dropped the lawsuit so they didn’t have to pay her. And Bobbi raises that very point about a living breathing reminder of Chuck’s affair.

      Tracy has an agenda… She fully intended to take her baby and disappear from Chuck’s life, but something prompted her to change her plans. That’s part of the plot. It’s good that you don’t like her. She is completely without morals. Bobbi even says, “I feel like I need to go wash.” after a confrontation. Hurting Bobbi is not Tracy’s main agenda, but I don’t think she loses any sleep over it.

      Bobbi is a woman of great strength, and grace and dignity, and I think it shows even more in the second book.

      • Paula, does all this remind Chuck of being with Tracey and the feelings/sex that he had. Does he think about them together? I really can't wait. I can't wait for Chuck's answer about a living breathing reminder of how he never loved her enough and put another woman before her. It also must be so hard for their children having being confronted with Jackson. Please don't get me wrong, Jackson is totally innocent and deserves love and understanding in this situation, especially as he grows and discovers what his mother really is. I can just see the hurt when Jackson looks at Bobbi and if he's a decent human realises how much just his being hurt her and what was done to her via him. I can't wait to see what happens, come on ebook.
        I really, really want to thank you for your response and help in my angsty moments over this emotional journey you have taken me on, to me that is a sign of a good book, you drew me into this book where my heart  was breaking over the betrayal of a good and decent woman, by someone who is supposed to protect her from people like himself. If anyone caused the pain to Bobbi that Chuck did, he would be the first to remove that threat, but he was the cause of all that pain, and continues to be the cause of pain. What are Chucks thoughts, does he still have feelings for Tracey, or is he thinking what was I thinking – what was I ever attracted to. What I'm asking is does Chuck hate Tracey for what she deliberatly did to him, irrespective that he went into the affair with eyes open, she deliberatly  seduced him, made his family suffer because she wanted a child and she choose him and his family to suffer/even though it's his actions/ he didn't have to go willingly into her arms but untimatly this was all her plan.
        Yes I miss Phil, his wisdom is surely missed. They really need him for the second book. I hope when they are stressed, they can remember words of wisdom that Phil gave them. His legacy lives on.
        Thank you again for your wisdom and support in answering my questions. Reading a cheating book must be one of the hardest things for a person to do, with all the emotions/angst/sorrow/anger/humiliation/sadness/shame/devestation/being scared/loss of self/loss of love/sorrow for the family/ loss of family, every emotion  comming at you on Bobbi's behalf you have made me feel easier about this book and I am looking forward impatiently(that's me) for "Indemnity", please give me a HEA.

        • Laurel, I have thoroughly enjoyed this discussion. I’m so glad you commented. Feel free anytime.

          First of all, the first 12 chapters are on the site here if you want to read them and see for yourself.

          Ok- after the first contact Chuck has with Tracy, Bobbi asks him, what was it like seeing her again? And his response is, “You are the love of my life. I couldn’t look at her without remembering how much I hurt you.”
          “No little flicker even?” “Not the slightest.” Chuck is cured. You’ll see the strategies he employs to keep his mind where it should be with her. Now does he hate Tracy? No. In his mind the affair was his fault. He knew better and no matter what her agenda or her plan was, he had the responsibility to walk away and he didn’t. I think if he hated her, that would let him shift some of the blame and he won’t do that.

          Phil is gone, but Donna does make a reappearance. They have a new pastor, Glen, who has his own brand of wisdom, and where Phil was a father figure, Glen is more of a brother. I like Glen, but admittedly, he has a hard time following Phil. Glen’s wife, Laurie, has an interesting connection with Tracy.

          You’ll also see why Tracy did what she did. It doesn’t make it right at all, but it will show you where she was coming from.

          Bobbi and Chuck get through this book stronger than ever, have one more long, difficult season in book 3 and then they do live happily ever after. Jack turns out to be a fine young man.

          I think every writer hopes readers connect emotionally with the book, but I’m sorry to put you through such a wringer.

          • I really don't care, sorry where Tracey was comming from. She could have gone to a sperm bank, anything, other than deliberatly hurt another human the way she hurt Bobbi, and not just Bobbi but the family. She was totally selfish in her needs, and yes as you said she didn't care that she hurt Bobbi or whoever, and one of those whoever's would be her own child. How could she not think how that child would feel knowing the deliberate hurt that was caused to so many by just being. That truly shows Tracey's character.  Okay Chuck takes on all fault, as he should, but to me by not recognising Tracey's deviousness and how this woman hurt his wife as well is stupid to me. Chuck is responsible but Chuck should also acknowledge what Tracey did to his wife as well. This woman deliberatley set out to hurt his wife and family because she wanted a child from him. She deserves the contempt from Chuck as well, to give her a freeby just makes me angry that he again is protecting Tracey again, and not putting her finally in her place in his life as she and most of all Bobbi deserves.By Chuck not seeing Tracey as the woman she truly is, to me is in someways belittles Bobbi, in respect that he doesn't truley see each woman correctly. By taking all the blame, then he see's Tracey as the victim as well, and not the AW that she is. I'm sorry but under no circumstances does Tracey have the right to hurt Bobbi or her family. And if Chuck can't see the type of woman she is then I still don't have any faith in him. He has always defended Tracey, not his wife but Tracey.  I feel Chuck needs to see Tracey for who she really is, and yes feel like he needs to scrub himself clean, until he can do that, and not keep defending Tracey

          • No, Tracy does not have the right to hurt Bobbi or anybody else. No matter what injustices, real or imagined, she’s been through. She’s wrong. I’m sorry I came across that way (I’m up way past my bedtime :-) ) Tracy is warped, for sure. Her idea of right and wrong is messed up. We’ll deal with her before the book is done. Chuck does see the type of woman she is. He tells Brad in the parking lot at the football game that she was no different than a prostitute on a street corner somewhere, using sex to get what she wanted. He knows she’s a liar and a very good one. But if she had gone to a sperm bank, the book would have been really short.

            In the second book we find out she has lied to Jack and told him that his dad is dead. Of course, she has to backtrack on that. But as far as Jack truly understanding how he was conceived, that’s beyond the action of the book. (He’s only six.)

            And Tracy as a victim… well… I don’t know if that’s the right word. He did use her though. He didn’t care about her. She fed his ego and satisfied his lust, and that’s all he was concerned about.

            I will warn you that Chuck’s pursuit of Jack will cause him to get a little off-center. Bobbi will call him on it, and they will work through it.

          • I really don't care, sorry where Tracey was comming from. She could have gone to a sperm bank, anything, other than deliberatly hurt another human the way she hurt Bobbi, and not just Bobbi but the family. She was totally selfish in her needs, and yes as you said she didn't care that she hurt Bobbi or whoever, and one of those whoever's would be her own child. How could she not think how that child would feel knowing the deliberate hurt that was caused to so many by just being. That truly shows Tracey's character.  Okay Chuck takes on all fault, as he should, but to me by not recognising Tracey's deviousness and how this woman hurt his wife as well is stupid to me. Chuck is responsible but Chuck should also acknowledge what Tracey did to his wife as well. This woman deliberatley set out to hurt his wife and family because she wanted a child from him. She deserves the contempt from Chuck as well, to give her a freeby just makes me angry that he again is protecting Tracey again, and not putting her finally in her place in his life as she and most of all Bobbi deserves.By Chuck not seeing Tracey as the woman she truly is, to me is in someways belittles Bobbi, in respect that he doesn't truley see each woman correctly. By taking all the blame, then he see's Tracey as the victim as well, and not the AW that she is. I'm sorry but under no circumstances does Tracey have the right to hurt Bobbi or her family. And if Chuck can't see the type of woman she is then I still don't have any faith in him. He has always defended Tracey, not his wife but Tracey.  I feel Chuck needs to see Tracey for who she really is, and yes feel like he needs to scrub himself clean, until he can do that, and not keep defending Tracey I will still not get it and believe Chuck.

      • I wonder if Chuck would have the Grace and dignity if it were the other way around and Bobbbi had committed the Adultery?
        I also wonder if Bobbi would have divorced Chuck if she had known that he had made another woman pregnant when she found out about the adultery?

        • Good question… I think it would have been MUCH harder for Chuck to be gracious and forgiving had Bobbi cheated on him. I don’t know that Phil could have gotten through to him. Bobbi had already had some experience forgiving her dad for his alcoholism and emotional distance, so I think it came more naturally for her. I read a statistic years ago that 9 out of 10 women will stay with an alcoholic husband but only 1 out of 10 men will stay with an alcoholic wife. I don’t know how the stats compare for adultery, but I think, by and large, women are more likely to give men a second chance. Chuck should be thankful he married Bobbi. Rita would’ve killed him… and then divorced him ;-)

          And about midway thru the second book, Bobbi tells Gavin that had they known Tracy was pregnant when they were dealing with everything “we probably would have divorced over it.”

          • It seems like my last comment went astray. I was saying that I agree that Chuck has to own up to the infidelity. But I also know that Chuck has to GET just what type of a person Tracey is. I don't care what her reasons are, there are none for what she did to Bobbi. She delliberatley and cruely went after another womans husand to get herself with a child, knowing all along and not caring the pain and suffring she would cause. She was after what she wanted and stuff everyone else. Until Chuck realises what type of a person she is then I can't see a believable HEA for Chuck and Bobbi. He is constantly making excuses for Tracey, WHY. I can't believe his love of Bobbi when he is constantly making excuses for the OW and not seeing her for who she truley is. He should feel like he needs to be scubbed down after dealing with her. Not make excuses and say it's all his fault and poor Tracey because he took advantage of her. He needs to Get real and accept that okay it's his fault but he also needs to accept that Tracey is a skank and a AW and that she hurt Bobbi and his family just as much if not more because it was all planned, not that lessons his guilt or lessons his responsibility.  It's not him accepting less blame, it's him accepting what type of person Tracey really is. I don't favour the thought that for whatever reason Tracey was hurt or abused(I'm not sure what you have come up with)  then she has a right to hurt another, there is never an excuse. Bobbi has gone through hell for years. She truley loves Chuck. Chuck needs to see this and accept that who he lied down with was a dog. Sorry that demeans dogs. Can you tell I reall dislike her??  I just hate the fact that Chuck can't see her for what she is. I also think that he will keep making excuses for Tracey and as such make her out to be someone she really isn't, thus believe her to be better than she truly is. She hurt his wife and family and she deserves all the contempt that that deserves. If a stranger came along and hurt Bobbi and the family for years the way Tracey has, I wonder what his response would be, but no he defends her again, just like the doctor thing, oh no she wouldn't have a disease, she's not a cheap W. No Tracey can do no wrong, and if that's his thinking then Chuck's just not a person I can believe in. You said he treats her with respect and dignity, I'm sorry she's not just someone off the street, she has cause so much hurt for Bobbi and his family, and they need to see that he undestands this and agrees that she hurt them and treats her acordingly, she's not just another person, she has caused so much pain to Bobbi, and I would expect Chuck to treat her accordingly. I wonder how many tears she has caused Bobbi to shed? Yet Chuck treats her with dignity and respect. Sorry HEA looks a far way away for me. 

  6. Can you please direct me to the 12 chapters you were talking about? Thanks.

  7. Okay a sperm bank would have made the book shorter, but how about a single man, not a married man with children? That just makes Tracey a truly hateful character.
    I think our last few comments were mixed up.
    Does Chuck realise how his going after Jackson is going to hurt Bobbi and his family? Why did she come back to town? She told Jackson that his father is dead, she knew by comming back to town it would all come out what she did and how she is a liar, you would have thought as a mother that is the last thing that she would have wanted him to know?
    Does Chuck even talk about gong after Jackson with Bobbi and family? Does he care how it will effect her or his other children, is one child more important than his other three?????
    How much hurt is he going to keep dishing out to Bobbi??????
    Okay I can't find those chapters???

    • I think you are right about the comments being mixed up… Ummm… she could have gone after a single guy, but she found Chuck first.

      All the things you bring up will be addressed. Whatever made her come back was bigger than being found out to be a liar.

      In one of these comments all I said was “a little nervous to have you read them now” I’m not sure how I did it exactly, but those words are the link to the page with the chapters. (They are a different color even) Click them.

      Oh- and its after 1 a.m. I’m going to get some some sleep, but I didn’t want to disappear on you. Have a good one, and thank you for the discussion.

      • I've just finished reading the 12 chapters you  graciously gave me. I live in Australia, so I'm supposing that is why the time difference, I am so sorry I kept you up so late.
        Okay I loved the new book so far, I do have some major concerns, I believe that Chuck is still attracted to Tracey, he keeps going on about her shorts and tank top, and the softness of her voice. He has to resort to naming capital cities to distract himself, that is not a good sign. So no I don't believe Chuck is over Tracey,  by mentioning her clothes twice and the softness of her voice and him remembering his time with her, I still think he is attrated to her. If he had no feelings for her and there was no attraction, he wouldn't care what she was wearing, how her voice sounded, wether she had another man in her house. To me this is emotional infidelity remembering their time together, clothes, voice. Why did he go off when he thought there was another man in the house, hello, unless he was jealous???? Why did he invite her to Church, all these things are a sign that he isn't over her, there is still an attraction to her, he is still defending her, as well(Tracey isn't like that, she's not crazy, she wouldn't do that. I know Tracey).  So no I still don't believe him, another reason is that he has shown no understanding to Bobbi, no care, no thought. He knew she didn't want Jackson in her home with her children but he didn't care he went after his son, his son was more important to him than his wife, he put his wife second to getting his son. He promised that he would never be alone with a woman again, that was Phil's instructions to him, but the first time Tracey shows up, what does he do, he spends time alone with Tracey????  With picking up and dropping of Jackson there shouldn't even be a conversation with Bobbi as to picking up Jackson, somebody should be with him or someone else should pick him up. He has totally forgotten about his own family ever since Tracey came back to town, the rules Phil set up went out the window, his feelings for Tracey are still there. He was so concerned to get Jackson he forgot about Brad and Law School, he didn't even bother to tell Shannon until the last minute. But most importantly he's overriding Bobbi's feelings. For him to come back to say that Shannon is the proof of his infidelity was so very very wrong, Shannon is the gift God and Bobbi gave to him, Jackson is the proof of his infidelity, he's a lawyer and a very good one and uses words to make everyone do everything he wants. I think my disliking Tracey still stands even more so, I hate to say this but for these first 12 chapters I have come to dislike Chuck, no where has he shown that he has no feelings for Tracey, his thoughts only confirm that he does, and by all of this he has shown absolutley that once more Bobbi comes a distant fourth to himself, Tracey, Jackson. If he was to choose between Bobbi and Jackson, I have no doubt that he would choose Jackson, that's what I've gotton from reading those first few chapters. I really feel that I wish she would have found out about the pregnancy maybe after Shannon was born and divorced him and found someone that really did love her and put her first. To me Chuck is still emotionally tied to Tracey, and still a selfish jerk by disregarding Bobbi's feelings by forcing Jackson on her and not even caring. It's good to be Chuck he gets everything doesn't he, and still he is constantly hurting Bobbi. I was really upset with Laurie when she said that to Bobbi about Jackson, and I wish that Bobbi would say all that she is thinking, because all these people are riding rough shod over her life, it's like she doesn't matter, Jackson matters and what Chuck wants matters, and even what Tracey is wearing and how soft her voice sounds matters and if she has found another man and Chuck is jealous matters, but hello Bobbi's being torn apart but she just has to soldier on. I'm not liking the new pastor, Bobbi should matter to him, I think the only person worried about Bobbi is Rita. Her own two sons, I just couldn't believe that. If Chuck cared he would have honestly talked it over with Bobbi rather than talking to her and telling her how it was going to be. He could have spent time with Jackson by himself, I think if Phil would have been there that is what he would have recommended. He wouldn't have liked Chuck having Tracey in his office alone. He would have made sure that someone was with Chuck when picking up Jackson. He would have taken Bobbi's hearbreak into consideration. I really hope I am wrong and you can change my mind about Chuck with the remander of the book. Because to me he has gone backwood he has proven nothing.

        • I really want to be wrong, but from what you have written so far I can see Chuck's attraction to Tracey, I can't see any proof of his love of Bobbi. By saying about her clothes a couple of times and the softness of her voice and how he remembers her and how he physically has to distract himself by saying capital cities and how he gets jealous over after shave, all that proves is that he has feelings for Tracey, not that he has gotten over her, not that he loves Bobbi, because as I said if he loved Bobbi and had gotten over Tracey those things mentioned wouldn't matter, he wouldn't be struggeling with them, I mean it's seven years later. But no the attraction is still there and so is the deending of Tracey, even against his wife. Please, Please tell me that things change and I can believe in him?????

          • Hey Laurel,
            Let me try to explain where I’m coming from in writing the story. Jesus says “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven; for He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. For if you love those who love you, what reward have you? Do not even the heathens do the same? And if you greet your brethren only, what do you do more than others? Do not even the heathens do so? Therefore you shall be perfect, just as your Father in heaven is perfect.”

            When He says “You have heard that it was said”, He talking about the ruling standard of behavior in society. But He sets a much higher standard. The foundation for these books is to portray what it’s like to live out loving your enemies. How does it work when it’s not just words on a page, but people you have to face? If you don’t buy into that standard, then Bobbi’s actions especially are not going to make a lot of sense to you. And the things you want her to do- find somebody else who loves her, etc- go right along with what conventional wisdom would say. She holds herself to a higher standard though.

            I’m glad you loved the book so far, but I’m not sure I can bring it around for you. I will say this, without blowing the plot too much- Tracy believes she and Jack are both in mortal danger and she wants Chuck’s help to protect Jack. However, rather than just come out and say that, she has engineered this whole thing to make it look like it’s all Chuck’s doing.

            Okay, now some specifics- I think you are misreading Chuck. Let me explain. I agree that starting out here in Book 2, he pushes ahead and minimizes Bobbi’s concerns. Why does he do that? First of all, (he’s a jerk? maybe) he’s still Chuck, and part of his character is that he thinks he’s right and he knows what to do. He wants to deal with Tracy as quickly as possible and hope to be done with her.

            When he hears her voice etc, it doesn’t trigger any desire in him. It triggers shame and guilt. When he notices her clothes, its because he knows she dressed that way on purpose to mess with him. The deal with the other guy was about Jack. He didn’t want Jack to be exposed to Tracy’s promiscuity. She accused him of being jealous, but she was wrong.

            Now I agree that he is emotionally bonded to her- he had sex with her. And temptation is a struggle. How many addicts do you know that kick their habit and never struggle again?

            I’m sorry the book isn’t developing the way you’d like, but thank you for reading anyway.

  8. Paula, Thanks again for your insight. I'm going to reread these chapters. I think I would have liked them even more if Chuck had matured into a more thoughtful person, especially regarding Bobbi and all that she has had to life with because of his sins.
    They key to my belief is the change in Chuck, his total emotional connection to Bobbi, and his total disconnection to Tracey.
    I can't see that at this point. I'm sorry but with Tracey's return, the old Chuck has returned. He has belittled Bobbi's feelings, just steamrolled over them. It's like if he can use his lawyer talk to get someone to agree with him(and he's good at that) then it doesn't matter what Bobbi thinks or cares. She didn't want Jackson in her life, or their lives, she didn't want a constant reminder of his betrayal, and she has that right. I also totally believe that she should not be made to feel a bad Christian for feeling that. I know this is a christian book, but after what Chuck did he's lucky that she gave him a second chance, and she had the right to leave him, that's in the bible. There are many forms of infidelity, the majority say that emotional infidelity is the worst, having that emotional connection/feelings of lust/love/protection/caring/ownership/longing with the OW is a marriage breaker. This is what Phil was so quick to stop, he wanted all ties severed with Tracey, he didn't trust Chuck with another woman, because he had proved untrustworthy. To go against Phil's conditions the first time Tracey came back really hurt me, and I understood Bobbi's feelings but I think Chuck steamrolled them again, just like the picking up and dropping off of Jackson, Chuck is still untrustworthy. Why did Chuck have to start Naming the capitol cities if there was no lust there? If Chuck hasn't really changed then we've gone through a whole book of pain for nothing and Chuck is still where he was at the beginging and all of Phil's hard work and counciling hasn't made any difference. I really would have felt better if Chuck had changed, he took Bobbi's feelings as primary not fourth. The majority of men in chuck's situation would have realised what a POW Tracey is, and chuck's a smart guy the emotional ties should have stopped when he found out that she sent the email to his wife, let alone knowing that she set him up for seduction. 99.9% of men say that they can have sex without emotional commitment. I know they had an affair but I don't think there was love on either side, attraction/lust/sex/ yes but no love so I don't understand this emotional tie he has with her. If he's not in love with Tracey, not in lust with Tracey, not Jealous of Tracey's involvement with other men why does he still have to recite Capitol Cities???(That's a biggy for me) it shows he' struggling with is emotions, when there shouldn't be any. And if he's struggling with emotions for Tracey he should tell Bobbi and his pastor and he should step back and have no contact with Tracey. I would have been so much happier if Chuck had no emotions when he saw Tracey only the hurt that he caused Bobbi, and wondered why he could betray Bobbi over that type of person, because the difference between them is staggering, yet he's still letting Tracey into Bobbi's life to hurt her time and again. To me it's emotional infidelity what he's feeling for Tracey, how he defends her how he's struggeling with his feelings for her. Tracey's playing with him with the shorts and top, because she knows he can be played with, if he didn't care he wouldn't be even thinking about it, he wouldn't notice it, it wouldn't even be a thought. Now this i Bobbi's worst fear – the emotional connection, not that she's not worried about the physical side as well, but it hurts her that Chuck can still feel things for Tracey. Faithful only unto her. That's total faithfulness. I have a good idea what is going to happen, what I can say is that until Chuck really lets Tracey go, Bobbi will allways have that internal damage, it will never be healed. Chuck needs to show that Tracey was a mistake, she was never anything but a short(and it was short) physical weakness that is over and forgotten. Jackson is totally seperate from the weakness he had with Tracey.  Those are my thoughts anyway.
    On our thread about cheating books we do rant alot, but it's good to let it out when you have read a really angsty book, and the H/hero/male lead never really atones/grovels/changes emotionally to a point that the OW meant nothing to him so that we can believe the HEA. This book is 100% compared to most, I just wish I could believe Chuck, he and his actions are pivitol to my HEA. My goal when reading is to enjoy/learn/understand/battle with my emotions but most of all come out with a HEA.
    I'm off to reread. If I'm wrong with my thoughts please help me understand where I'm going off track.

  9. Paula, Can I ask you if Chuck lied to Bobbi with regards to not having a Twinge about Tracey when he came home from dropping Jackson off, when he had to use coping stratagies to stop thinking about her????

    • I was gone last night and will be busy most of today, so I’ll get you a longer answer later for your previous comments. In this one though, you’re talking about 2 different incidents. You hate the coping strategies, but Chuck realizes (because Phil showed him) that he has a weakness for women. Rather than be arrogant (like he was before) he is defending himself. He is not going to let his mind drift into a place it should not be. The coping thing is there to keep his brain occupied. Phil showed him that the affair started in his thoughts before he ever acted on it. He does love Bobbi, and he doesn’t want any uninvited thoughts.

      We never got to see the intervening 7 years, or any of the details about how Chuck has treated Bobbi in that time. He is a wonderful husband and father, but when we pick up the story again in book 2, we find them revisiting Chuck’s greatest failure and now his greatest test.

      When Tracy reappears, his concern is that Tracy will harass Bobbi. The meeting is because he is determined not to let that happen and he wants his family’s input and support. I understand you disagree with how he proceeded, that he pushed ahead. Yes he did. But it is because he wants to get rid of this woman before she can threaten his wife.

      The first time Chuck is to go pick up Jack he asks Bobbi if she wanted him to take someone with and what does she say? No. I trust you. She repeats this on several occasions. Even though they disagree on how he is doing things, she believes that ultimately he does have her best interest and their marriage in mind. Do they have conflict about it? Yes. Is Chuck perfect yet? No.

      We’ll talk more later- Blessed is He who comes in the name of the Lord! Happy Palm Sunday!

  10. Laurel says:

    I Finally purchased Indemnity, yeah. Can you please explain what Chuck ment when he said:-
    Guilt washed over him almost as intense as the day Bobbi discovered his affair. He swore to Bobbi he had no feelings for Tracy. And he didn't. But……..
    I still don't trust him everyone in the hospital knew what she was doing, but not him he's still thinking that she just went by to offer sympathy, why can everyone else see her for who she is and not him???? The above just made my skin crawl. It seems like every single time he has contact with Tracy, he remembers and makes excuses for her. His family needs to come first with him, and if it's not coming naturally and he is constantly thinking good things of Tracy then you know where his feelings LIE.  I think Bobbi should take note how he puts Tracy before her and the family, he never calls Tracy on her behavour, and is constantly remembering things with Tracy which shouldn't be important. I think Bobbi is better off without him.

    • Hey Laurel,
      I’m sorry you still see Chuck as liar. Obviously you see different things in him than what I intended when I wrote it. I doubt we’ll ever resolve our differences on it. Chuck was deeply affected by his affair and I think it would be unrealistic to think that contact with Tracy would not provoke some emotional reaction.
      In the process of writing the book, I did a considerable amount of research, reading stories of couples who had been through the fires of infidelity and how it impacted their lives and their marriages during and after and based my characters on that.
      However, just because he doesn’t treat Tracy with contempt and hatred, doesn’t mean he doesn’t love his wife. Bobbi forgave Tracy and she trusted Chuck and his love and commitment to her thru it all.
      But as a reader, you have the freedom to takeaway what you choose to from the story.

      In any event, I appreciate you reading it.

  11. I've just finished it, I could not believe you made Bobbi appologise to Tracy, it was the biggest WT moment ever. Then to have Chuck grieve for Tracy and now in the next book, you have Brad die. How much emotional hurt are you going to dump on Bobbi? I think I would have preferred for Bobbi to divorce Chuck and find a new love like Donna. Then Brad would still be alive. It seems whatever Chuck and Jack want they get, so good to be them. I think when a reader reads a story they can only take so much crap being thrown at the h, and the H has to be redeemable and there has to be a believable HEA, I just can't see this happening, sorry, I think you are right we have to agree to disagree.